Who Do You Think You Are?
John 21. 1-19
This week we are told of the third account of Jesus appearing to the disciples according to the Gospel of John. This is a passage rich in symbolism of abundance and life. Jesus appears on the shore at daybreak but none of the disciples initially recognise him. Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples were together and engaged in an unsuccessful fishing trip. Jesus calls out to the disciples and tells them to cast the net on the right-hand side of the boat. The disciples follow his direction and catch so many fish they can hardly haul them back into the boat. The disciple that Jesus loved told Peter that it was the Lord. In true Peter style, he puts on clothes, jumps out of the ship, and runs ashore to meet Jesus. Once the disciples are ashore they find a charcoal fire already burning. Jesus instructs the disciples to bring some of the fish they have just caught and proceeds to cook them breakfast, offering them bread and fish. Once they had finished breakfast Jesus asks Peter three times whether he loves him; each time reminding him of his duty towards his followers. Peter is upset by his persistent asking. Jesus finishes the scene by an allusion to Peters own eventual martyrdom.
This scene gives a sense of abundance and joy. The full nets are symbolic of the fullness Christs has to offer all people. The Joy Peter exhibits when realizing it is Jesus at the shore was not able to be contained. Jesus invites his followers to sit with him in an intimate sharing of a meal, a meal prepared from the abundance he offered and delivered as a symbol of Christian leadership. This type of leadership always seeks for ways to serve others and offer a deeper communion with each other and God.
The import of this story goes deeper than an example of abundance and leadership. This section of scripture directly approaches the deep meaning of self-rediscovery and redemption.
It was not long ago in this story at Peter was sitting in a freezing courtyard waiting to hear Jesus’ fate. While he sat in the cold dark night he was faced with an excruciating scenario, lose yourself (who you are) or risk losing your life. When questioned as to whether Peter was one of Jesus followers on that fateful night he denied this truth three times. In doing so he did not only deny his loyalty to Jesus but also his ontological reality. When such a situation arises it creates major angst and confusion. This scenario must have been still affecting Peter when Jesus came to meet the disciples on this blessed morning.
This story is full of miraculous events and deeply symbolic imagery. Arguably, the most miraculous event is the discussion had with Peter at the end of the text. When Peter denied Jesus three times he not only turned his back on Christ, he denied the very essence of who he was. Peter was often the most vocal disciple and showed leadership among the twelve. Peter was certain that he would never deny Jesus and yet that is exactly what he did. When faced with real fear he lost sight of who he was. Jesus addresses this ontological drift by contrasting his denial with questions of love. Jesus opens the path for Peter to affirm his ontological reality anew before the Christ he denied. Jesus does not shame, he does not rebuke, instead, he acts with love and mercy restoring Peter to wholeness.
We all like to think that in times of fear or pressure we would act in a way that is congruent with who we believe we are. The reality is that we are human and this is not always the case. We can lash out in ways that surprise us, stay silent when we thought we would speak, or conform to a position that we know is not true to our inner beliefs. The truth is we often surprise ourselves with who we truly are.
Jean-Paul Sartre said:
"There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk."
Sartre's words can remind us of the reality of resurrection in our everyday life. Christ comes to meet us on the shore at the break of each new day. We may not perceive him at first, we may need another to help us see the Christ before us. Each new day is a chance to be challenged by love and led back to the reality of who we are. Being true to ourselves is a spiritual discipline, a type of living prayer. Having the courage to speak out, the stillness to remain calm, and the strength to keep our integrity when faced with opposition, comes with a life of examination and faith.
We can give thanks for the abundance of truth Christ offers us. A truth about ourselves that can initially be hard to face, but one that leads us back to who we truly are.